Tone's Ode to the Bell P-39 Airacobra


Oh, wondrous chariot, issue of Bell!
Smite the aggressors, those minions of Hell!
You're our secret weapon. You're just what we need.
A barded old war horse with plenty of speed!


But first let me try to dispel old aspersions
That have plagued this fine weapon through all of its versions.
The P-39's P is short for "Pursuit".
Please disregard sources which say "Parachute".


Oh, let's cut the malarkey and get to the truth!
You are a snake and the zeke, a mongoose.
But don't let this somber appraisal alarm you.
You're an Airacobra! Just don't let him charm you!


Come in from above, look hard for his six
and, when you can, dive on in -- end his dark tricks.
Spray him with fire and pray that he burn
Hope he don't see you, and hope he don't turn.


Administer amply thy cannon-rich noogie
but if you should miss him, endeavor to boogie
Don't try to turn -- trust me here -- open your throttle
Your craft is not nimble -- your ship's in a bottle.


When dodging his fire, use speed and some roll
Don't let his shells find you, or your Bell will toll.
But if you use cunning, stealth, chutzpah, and zeal,
you will discover your Bell has appeal.


Seize every advantage. Eschew the heroic.
And, if you should triumph, don't be too stoic.
Get on the transmitter, and tell all your friends.
Cuz kills in the '39 seldom start trends.
Share the thrill with your pal, but don't get TOO cute.
He's probably listening from under a chute

Copyright 2001 The Dweebs of Death. All rights reserved.
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